Four years old for me is a bit of a milestone even though I know next year with him going to school, it will be even bigger. The reason I see four as a milestone is that four years old is the youngest I can actually remember being. I actually can remember being that age and playing with friends, living on 111Ave in Edmonton, going to the park, and heading off to school the following year.

Knowing that I can remember that far back, it puts things in a different light. Up until now, it’s been pretty easy to think that if something bad happens, or maybe I say or do something I’m not proud of with D, he won’t remember it because he’s so young. That phase has now officially passed. From this point on, I have to accept that memories made from here moving forward will now stick with him.

It’s not to say I do anything major or bad to my kids. I’m a good dad, but we all have days where our tempers are shorter and sometimes we snap, or we’re a little more grumpy than normal, and it’s that kind of stuff I don’t want the kids to focus on or remember. Thankfully, since these are few and far between, and the good stuff is FAR more abundant than anything not so good, so I think he’s in good hands to turn out well.

Next year at this time, he’ll have started school and it will indeed be an even larger milestone. Seems so far away but man, it certainly does go by fast.

A few things of note with Dylan these days. He’s definitely the mellower of the two kids. He’s been a bit shy about being around certain strangers but he does eventually warm up to them. By strangers I mean people he hasn’t met before that I know (like friends of mine or Tamara’s).

He’s definitely not the most “tough” kid in the world. In fact, I think he’s more like me in that he’s kind of wimpy. It makes me a bit worried because I know where that got me when I was young but the reality is, I can only teach him to be the best he can and go from there. I know he will be fine.

He got stung by a wasp not long ago and now he’s a bit on a bug phobia thing. Kinda scared of getting stung but I have tried to explain to him that he just needs to be careful. Can’t say I blame him for being scared as bees and wasps freak me out too. Plus, he got stung by a wasp who ended up coming from a nest in Dylan’s castle that me and Tamara didn’t know was there. It is gone now, trust me.

Took him and Megan to Magic Mountain and they LOVE it. Haven’t had the chance to stay too long but we did buy season passes so we’ll be back as many times as we can during the year. They still love going to the beach. Dylan likes digging holes in the sand with me.

Took him to his first movie to see Cars 2 and although he loved it, I was not a fan of the movie’s content for a kid his age. It was James Bond in Cars format with guns and shooting and “killing”. Dylan ended up saying “I’m going to kill you” to one of his friends which we very quickly curbed and realized that it came from the movie. D didn’t know what he was saying so we made sure he knew that wasn’t something to be said. Definitely shows the influence of media on young kids. I’ll be more picky with the movies I take him to next time.

Lastly, he now likes to pretend he is Roscoe which is a robot from the Backyardigans. I don’t like the show but it is harmless and he loves it.

We were at the YMCA for Play Pals. They have the gym open and lots of toys and the kids play. They have one of those large inflatables that the kids crawl on. Dylan loves bouncing on it and climbing the ladder to go down the slide. It was the same thing we had gone to many times before. Both him and Megan were having a great time.

I was watching both but Megan was playing on a slide so I went over to the inflatable and peeked in. I saw another boy, bigger than Dylan, grab him, shove him into a corner, and he proceeded to punch Dylan in the chest and stomach over and over again. It wasn’t play fighting cuz I could hear the kids fists hitting my son.

I yelled “HEY!!!!” and tore around to the other side where I could get in to help Dylan who was now crying VERY hard. Another woman was in there already and had grabbed the kid and pulled him away as I got onto the platform. I grabbed Dylan. She wasn’t his mom but said she was going to go find his mom. Dylan was crying pretty hard and this other woman kept asking the kid who his mom was. He eventually pointed her out, and to my surprise, it was a YMCA staff member. Lovely.

Both myself and the other woman told the staff member that her son had been punching Dylan. She grabbed her kid, apologized to me saying “I don’t know what’s wrong with him the last few days” and then handed him off to what I assume was the kids father and told him to take him out of the gym. Dylan was still very upset and that feeling stuck with him for a good part of the day.

Let me tell you, my blood was BOILING when I saw those punches being thrown. I was SO mad. It took a great deal of restraint for me to not do something to that other kid because, and pardon me for being blunt, NOBODY fucks with my kids. I would still have been upset had I not seen it with my own eyes, but to actually witness it happening is a whole other story.

The instinct to protect your children definitely kicked in. Beyond anything else I have experienced as a dad, I can definitely say that I could feel that pure instinct of defense inside of me. It also made me feel a little sad because the reality is, you can’t protect them from everything.

The one thing I think that scares me more than anything is that when the kids start going to school, this kind of thing can happen more. I know because I went through it myself. I don’t want to think about the possibilities as I just have to trust that the kids are going to be fine, and that they are safe.

Until then, I keep an eye on them and I keep them safe. When they get into their first bar fight, they’re on their own.

Because Tamara had decided not to go back to work full time, it didn’t make sense for us to pay for a full week of daycare for Dylan (or Megan for that matter). So, we have been taking them to a private sitter for awhile. Now, Dylan has had a few different ones over the past few years. Amy was really good for a year or so but she started working for her mom and couldn’t take care of the kids anymore so we moved Dylan and Megan to Deirdre. Deirdre has been fantastic and we have no complaints about her what so ever. But a few months back, my brother in law and his wife were talking about their son and what they do for daycare and it got me to thinking about Dylan.

Dylan had just turned three and at his current babysitter’s house, there were no kids that were his own age. Now, he loved going there, but he also really enjoys it when he gets to play with some of his cousins and other boys of his own age. Now, I never gave it much thought but after thinking about it a bit, me and Tamara did wonder a bit if it would make more sense to put Dylan with a babysitter that had kids his age as well. We really thought about it a lot as we wanted to keep Megan where she was (the other kids there are her age), but that would mean having to make two stops in the morning instead of one.

Well, we eventually decided that it was in Dylan’s best interest to have him around kids his own age. So, we moved him. How did it work out? Well, it’s interesting.

He’s really been enjoying going over there and it actually seems to have improved his relationship with Megan a bit. I suspect this is because now he’s not spending his entire day with her. But also, he’s really liking being around another boy his own age, who has some of the same interests that he does (Thomas trains). But the other thing that has been interesting is that Dylan is now really learning more about sharing. He’s always had a bit of a problem sharing (what 3 year old wants to share right?) so now that he’s around another boy who’s kind of the same, he’s having to learn a bit more about sharing here and there. It’s helped, kind of, around the house, but when it comes to his toys, he DOES NOT want to share them. At least being around another kid his age during the day is giving him more exposure to that.

I’m glad to see an actual improvement with him and hopefully being able to play with kids his own age, his development will continue as it should.

His new bike

This past Friday, Dylan turned 3 years old. Wow. Where has the time gone?

To celebrate his birthday, Dylan had quite a day. It started with a visit to Crystal Palace where Tamara took him on his first roller coaster ride. He got a little spooked but he still had a great time playing games and riding the rides.

That led us to heading home where both of his grandmothers came over to celebrate with some cake. He opened some cards and other gifts, and received a pretty cool set of trains for his train set. He also discovered the new bike (pictured above) on the back step. It was no time flat before he wanted to try it out.

We then let the kids have a rest and headed out to Magic Mountain where Dylan would learn all about waterslides. A little intimidated at first, once he realized what they were, and tried them for the first time, he was hooked. I never saw him more excited than he was that afternoon. We went back yesterday and he did all of the kiddie slides by himself. I suspect we’ll be going back there a lot in the years to come.

It feels like the last three years have just zipped by. Dylan, you are growing up so fast and are so full of life. I can’t wait to see how the next year goes.

We had been talking about trying to ween him off it around his third birthday (coming up in two weeks) so we were unsure as to how we could best go about it. The one thing we were VERY sure of is that we wanted to make sure he did it all on his own without us telling him or taking it from him. We thought it was very important that he be the one to make the decision to give it away so that he wouldn’t feel like we were taking something from him. The problem was, how were we going to do that?

We had thought about trying to tell him about how other little babies need doodens (that’s what he called his soother) and that since he was getting to be a big boy, he’d soon have to give his dooden to a little baby who really needs it. But then I had an idea that ultimately sealed the deal.

See Dylan loves to watch balloons fly up into the air (filled with helium) and he watches them “go to the moon”. He really likes watching them float up into the sky and eventually out of sight. So I had this idea that we could tie his soother to the end of a strong on a balloon and we could let him take the balloon outside and let it go, and that his soother would fly into the air and go to a new baby who needs it. Yesterday, when Tamara got home, she wanted to give it a try.

I sat Dylan down and told him that a little baby needed his dooden and that we were going to put it on a balloon and he could let it fly into the sky to the little baby. Dylan repsonded with something to the affect of “Fly up to the moon. A baby on the moon”. Knowing he was SO keen on it going to the moon, I went with it.

He was VERY excited to let his soother go to a baby on the moon. He took the balloons outside, and I stepped away from him, and I told him to say goodbye to his dooden, and when he was ready, to let it go. He said goodbye, and a mere few seconds later, he let go of the balloon and off it went. He waved to it and got really excited about how it was going to go help a baby on the moon. (Meanwhile I’m wondering if the soother will land on someone’s head when the balloon’s finally pop).

No tears, no anxiety. Nothing. He was VERY excited. That is until bedtime came.

He stalled going to bed and then the requests for his dooden came in. He kept asking for it and we kept reminding him of where he sent it that afternoon. He got a bit upset a few times, but we just kept talking to him and reminding him of where it was and how he was a big boy and we were so proud of him. Despite getting out of bed several times, he eventually went to sleep without it. He hadn’t been using it anywhere else at any time and only when he went to bed so this was the last of his dooden time.

I suspect that the next night or two might also be a bit rough but I am SO proud of him for doing so well with this. I know it could have been WAY harder but he did so great saying goodbye and he’s really starting to grow up.

Wow. He’s going to be 3 in less than two weeks. Holy crap.

For starters, he’s now getting a bit spooked by noises in his room and as Tamara has said, I think he’s starting to realize that even when he goes to bed, there’s a lot of other things going on in the world around him. He is however doing very well.

There is one spot that seems to be the most challenging right now and that has to do with discipline. At his age, he wants what he wants and throws quite a fit if he doesn’t get it. I find it very hard to find good ways to make him understand that there are things he needs to do that he may not want to, or may not agree with, but that he needs to do. We’ll tell him it’s time for him to eat and he’ll get mad and wander off to his room and stay there. I get worried that him going off to his room all the time is going to turn him into a recluse. Tamara insists that it’s better for him to have a place he can go to and calm down and then come back to us when he’s better. Although I agree with that, I still wonder if going to his room all the time is good for him.

We’ve learned the art of counting to three to get him to stop doing something. It’s amazing how when he won’t listen, you start counting and all of a sudden it changes things. It works even more when you threaten to take something from him that he really likes. I don’t like doing that but sometimes when he doesn’t want to listen, it seems the only way to keep him in line is to do that.

It’s a challenge for things like that but thankfully both him and his sister are generally well behaved kids. They may fight with each other but isn’t that what siblings do? The next few years are going to be even more interesting as Megan gets a little older and starts standing her ground against Dylan. He’s not going to like it.

I guess the biggest thing for Dylan recently is his move to the potty. We’ve been potty training him for quite awhile now and I would say that generally, it’s going pretty good. He does fight it from time to time and says he doesn’t want to go but then after a bit, we manage to get him to go to the bathroom and he’s “relieved” to be on the potty.

But one thing he is not is a boy who wants help. He wants to do EVERYTHING himself. From putting his clothes on, to pouring the pee out of his potty into the toilet, to getting into his carseat. Anything and everything that needs to be done, he wants to do it himself.

His language skills continue to improve as most of the time he can be understood very well. I’d say the only thing that probably needs a little work is his attachment to his “dooden” (soother). Me and Tamara have talked about weening him off of it but we know it is going to be a struggle, not only for him, but for us as well. There are times where we are just tired and don’t want to hear the whining (usually in the car after a long day) and it’s just easier to give him his soother and him be happy and quiet. If we take that away from him, it makes it harder for us as well. But alas, it will come eventually. We’re thinking that turning 3 is going to be a good time to do it. That’s only a few months away (wow).

A huge smile came across his face, he came running towards me saying “DADDY”. Gave me a huge hug and then said “I wuv you”. In a flash of a second, my life changed forever.

I tell Dylan that I love him every single day and he’s told Tamara that he loves her several times. I tried not to take it personally but he hadn’t said it to me before and so when he’d say it to Tamara, I’d feel a little bummed but realize that he’ll say it sometime.

He hugged my leg and told me he loved me and Tamara looked at me and smiled. Tears rolled my face and I now know what it truly means to be a dad.

Dylan, I love you too little buddy.